Vitriol or bitterness
First time I read about Vitriol was from a book called, 'Veronika decides to die'. Quite interesting theory how writer put it...
"The great problem of poisoning by Bitterness lies in the fact that passions – hate, love, despair, enthusiasm and curiosity – also don’t appear any more. After some time, the bitter person has no more desire. They had no more will even to live, or to die; that was the problem.
For that reason, for bitter people, heroes and madmen are always fascinating: they are not afraid to live or die. Both heroes and madmen are indifferent in the face of danger and go on ahead in spite of everyone saying not to do so. The madman commits suicide, the hero offers himself up to martyrdom for a cause – but both die, and bitter people spend many nights and days talking about the absurdness and glory of the two types. That is the only moment when the bitter person has the strength to reach the top of his defensive wall and look outside a little; but soon his hands and feet tire and he returns to daily life.
The chronically bitter person only notices his disease once a week: on Sunday afternoons. Then, as he has no work or routine to relieve the symptoms, he realizes that something is very wrong."
According to my observation, people fight off vitriol by keeping those passion-hate,love,obsession etc alive in their life. As long as they have some dramas going on in their live,the will to live become stronger and keep the level of vitriol lower.
In my case of Vitriol,as far as I map out,there is a vague idea that I might have been poisoned by it. Things become indifferent. Nothing captures my mind.Routine makes me sick.Even when I am reading books, I do not feel any enthusiasm or excitement anymore.I become emotionally detached to people I care.Like any other survivors, as soon as I noticed where have gone wrong. I tried to seek for help. I sent out signals to people who I think can help me through but each day I've got bitter and bitter. Feeling empty inside, losing faith,losing the light(the loss which I cannot stand the most). Somebody close to me always said " The light is always there even we can't see it" But this is one hell of the cloudy period,which might end up bad.Now I do know what is inside, but still have to figure out how to get rid of the Vitriol,my own bitterness which is eating me alive.
"Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives."
